It’s been an amazing few weeks. The clam is now the top grossing website on the planet with 12 billion hits and a deluge of donations pouring in, putting our estimated net worth at just shy of a trillion quatloos. Even more astounding is the ubiquity of our corporate identity. In a recent Reuters survey, the clam logo is second only to Coke in terms of global brand recognition. J.D. Power and Associates so desperately wanted to give us a consumer satisfaction award that they created a new category just for us: Snark.
Taking advantage of our newly acquired corporate resources and connectivity, we have sent staff photographer, Stevens Brosnihan on a world tour in search of our fearless mascot. Though he did disappear for over a month and returned looking like Nazgul, we are a little suspicious of his subject matter. You be the judge.
Travelling light, I brought my trusty Nikon F3 with a 50mm f1.4 prime lens and a few pairs of socks. The camera has the famous MD-4 motor drive that delivers 7 frames per second on a fresh set of batteries. I didn’t want to miss anything.
Applying for visas and getting immunized took almost as long as my four week sojourn. Gratefully, my trip was unburdened by disease, excepting that bout with hoof and mouth while crossing the Upper Volta.
To avoid diarrhea, I tend not to eat while travelling. I stick to vitamin supplements, coffee, bottled beer and absinth when I can get it. I only lost 32 pounds on this trip.
The anti-malarial drugs were an unexpected perk. I love skirting the edge of psychosis while immersed in foreign cultures–alone and hypoglycemic. It reminds me of my childhood.
I think I over did it with the vidhara seed while crossing Rajasthan. There are four days and 2000 miles for which I have no recollection. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have willingly agreed to facial tattoos. But hey, when in Rome…
Now that negotiations with Elon Musk are finalized, I can formally announce my next photo tour: The lunar pits of Mare Ingenii. Preliminary launch date is March, 2017, barring liver failure or a severe downturn in Clam stock.